Sense of Belonging, Part 1

Biblical Self-esteem, Session 3
Title: Sense of Belonging, Part 1
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Introduction
     1.   Last week:
               a.   We all have emotional insecurities because we have god-like free will, but not
          god-like abilities
               b.   Continuous conflict (varying degrees): we want independence but must accept
          our total dependence.
               c.   Unconditional Love; God is the only reliable source
     2.   Starting today: Three basic emotional needs (belonging, worthiness, competence)
     3.   Neighbor nudge: How do you handle constructive criticism? Why? (1 min)

Sense of belonging, the most fundamental emotional need
     1.   Definition
               a.   the need to feel unconditionally loved, to be accepted
               b.   implication: awareness of being wanted and accepted, being cared for and
          enjoyed; by some person or group
     2.   Attempts to satisfy
               a.   we try to capture people’s attention, usually be something we do (recognition is
          a form of acceptance)
                         i.   unfulfilling because based on conditional love or acceptance.
                         ii. constructive criticism makes us feel less accepted
               b.   unless people take the initiative in accepting us, we doubt if they really wanted
          us
               c.   teenagers provide lots of examples, struggling to belong
               d.   adults are more subtle but also struggle to belong
               e.   examples?

Discussion question
     1.   small group, 5-6. person wearing most brown is leader, make sure everyone has chance
     to talk
     2.   What meaningful compliment do you remember receiving? How did it affect your sense
     of belonging? (7 min)

Relationship with God the Father validates your belonging
     1.   we relate to God as to a father
               a.   Mt 6:9 “This is how you should pray: Our Father in heaven”
     2.   One of the greatest securities is in parental acceptance; we’re accepted by God
               a.   Acts 10:34-35 “Then Peter began to speak, I now realize how true it is that God
          does not show favoritism, but accepts men from every nation who fear him and
          do what is right.”
     3.   God’s acceptance of us is motivated by his unconditional love
               a.   Rom 5:8 “But God demonstrates his love for us in this: While we were still
          sinners, Christ died for us.” — unconditional love.
               b.   Jn 3:16 “For God so love the world that he gave his one and only Son” —
          Father gave Son because he (Father) loved us.
     4.   Father/child relationship with God available to everyone
               a.   Jn 3:16(b) “that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
               b.   Jn 1:12 “Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he
          gave the right to become children of God.”
     5.   He is pleased to have us as sons
               a.   Eph 1:5 “He predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in
          accordance with his pleasure and will.”
     6.   We belong to God, to his family
               a.   1 Pet 2:9 “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a
          people belonging to God.”
               b.   Heb 2:11 “Both the one who makes men holy and those who are made holy are
          of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers.”

Conclusion
Our sense of belonging, that is our need for unconditional love and acceptance, is fully
satisfied in our relationship with God our Father.