Sense of worthiness, self-worth
1. Definition
a. The need to feel acceptable, that you have value — self-respect
b. internal “wholeness” — good feeling about yourself.
2. Attempts to satisfy
a. life standards, self expectations; we feel worthy when we
do what we think we
should
(1) conscience, behavioral standards, what we expect of ourselves
(2) standards may be valid, or may be unreasonable; if unreasonable,
results in obsession, frustration, sense of worthlessness
b. self-justification
i. our sense of worthiness is affected by other people’s opinions
(1) if we receive approval, feel good about ourselves; receive
criticism, feel worse about ourselves.
ii. if others criticize, we become angry or defensive, try to justify
ourselves
(prove our worth)
c. avoid confrontation
i. some people feel greater worth if they keep the peace
ii. result: rather comply with their critics to avoid conflict
d. attacking others, proving them wrong
i. some people feel greater worth by being superior in force
or intellect
ii. result: someone with love self-worth may be belligerent, dominating,
argumentative, or frequently give unsolicited advice.
3. Sense of worthiness formed
in childhood
a. doesn’t normally change much in adulthood
b. causes people to be blind to their strengths or weaknesses;
opinion still based on
level of worthiness
they felt in youth
c. frequent comments:
i. “He doesn’t understand me.” “He doesn’t really mean it.”
ii. personal sense of worthiness doesn’t match the way others act
toward us.
d. if low sense of worthiness, may feel guilty about receiving
praise.
e. not always honest about ourselves
i. project blame on others, excuse our failures, deny we did
anything
wrong, pretend we didn’t do it, rationalize that others are also guilty
ii. We play mental games to maintain our self-worth.
Discussion question (groups 2-3)
Why do people today have so little self-worth?
Relationship with God the Son validates our sense of worthiness
1. Jesus removes the guilt
a. living “up to the standard” increases our feeling of self-worth
i. when we violate the standard, we feel guilty.
ii. not possible to live up to God’s standard, so everyone feels
guilty.
b. having the standard met for us removes the guilt; Jesus
did it.
c. being forgiven for violating the standard removes the guilt;
possible only
because of Jesus.
d. Jn 3:18 “Whoever believes in him [Jesus] is not condemned.”
e. 1 Jn 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just
and will forgive us our
sins and purify
us from all unrighteousness.”
f. with our guilt removed, our self-worth can increase.
g. 2 Cor 5:21 “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us,
so that in him we
might become
the righteousness of God.” We’re righteous; no room for guilt!
2. Jesus increases our self-worth
by working in our behalf
a. we feel better about ourselves when someone does something
for us; we’ve
been given value.
b. Heb 7:25, Jesus intercedes for us with the Father; we are
important enough to
Jesus for him
to do this for us.
3. Because of Jesus, we now have
great value
a. Lk 12:6-7 “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet
not one of them is
forgotten by
God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t
be afraid; you
are worth more than many sparrows.”
b. Lk 12:24 “consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap,
they have no
storeroom or
barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are
than birds!”
c. our sense of self-worth is boosted by the Lord’s attention
d. 1 Pet 3:12 “For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
and his ears are
attentive to
their prayer.”
Conclusion
1. sense of worthiness, self-worth
a. the need to feel acceptable
b. feeling that you have value
2. Jesus fulfills our sense of
worthiness