The emphasis of this study has been on repentance — how you think and what you think about. To repent is to change your mind. We have considered how this will affect your standards, priorities, perception, attitudes and so on. But there is one other area that we have not addressed specifically that falls within this domain, and that is how repentance will affect your feelings.
Our culture has swung from a strongly rational, analytical posture during its scientific age to one that places great emphasis on feelings. We may have swung from one extreme to the other. We now are very concerned about how we feel and whether we are enjoying ourselves. There are many indicators of this: the booming entertainment industry, extreme sports and in-your-face behavior, to name a few. Some people would even warn us not to invalidate another person's feelings, that it is acceptable for them to feel the way they do.
Are your feelings sacred or beyond evaluation? No more than your thoughts are sacred. Are all feelings acceptable? No more than all thoughts are acceptable. Let me offer some examples, which you may feel are rather extreme, but demonstrate my point.
What if someone broke into your home and stole your TV, VCR, stereo and multi-media computer? And when the police caught him, the thief complained that he only had a 13-inch black and white TV for entertainment. He said he really wanted better equipment and even dreamed about having the latest home entertainment center. When he saw your equipment, he really wanted it badly, so he took it. How would you respond? "Well, if you really wanted it that badly, it's yours. I won't press charges." Not likely.
What if your spouse committed adultery and when you confronted them they explained they had an insatiable desire for the other person. They were sure you would not object since they wanted the other person so badly and had such strong feelings for them. What would you do? Try to be sympathetic and understanding?
What if someone did not like what you said and slugged you in the nose? They explained that you made them really angry and they just felt like breaking your nose. Would you respond, "Oh, well, since you felt so strongly about it, it's okay"?
Or imagine offering this explanation to the Lord: "I know you wanted me to change my attitude. But being the way I am makes me feel good. Besides, changing seems like a lot of effort and I just didn't feel like working that hard."
Granted, these are extreme examples, but they help us see the principle. Feelings are not sufficient justification for action, and not all feelings are acceptable.
What if I hypothetically told you, "I don't believe God loves me, because he doesn't do for me what the Bible says he will do, and because he doesn't answer my prayers. I feel like God either doesn't exist or does not care about me." How would you respond? Would you assure me it is okay to feel that way or would you try to convince me otherwise? And if you did try to persuade me that God loved me, would you not be invalidating my feelings? No, you might demonstrate that my feelings are not valid, but that is not the same as invalidating them because you did not make them invalid. If my feelings are based on incorrect assumptions, unreasonable expectations or bias, they need to be changed and I am responsible for changing them.
Any concern I have about someone invalidating me or my feelings comes directly from my self-centered sinful nature, which basically believes anything I want or do or think or feel should be acceptable. None of us likes to be corrected because that means we are not completely acceptable the way we are. And it is so typical of our sinful nature that we shift the blame to the person who pointed out our problem, claiming they are intolerant, or whatever. People usually will get angry with you, for example, if you call them a sinner; the fact that they get angry is evidence that you were right.
I should point out, however, that God was the first to state that man's relationship with him was not right, that man's behavior was unacceptable, that man needed to repent. God was the first to reject man's sinful nature and he will continue to do so. In fact, he even tells us to overcome each other's sinful nature through teaching, correction and encouragement. So instead of whining and feeling sorry for yourself when someone corrects you, accept responsibility for your fault and make the necessary changes.
When God talks about you becoming spiritually mature and like him, he doesn't say you don't have to do it if you don't want to. "Be holy, for I am holy, unless of course you prefer not to be holy." No, God's solution is for you to repent. Change the way you think and what you think about. You must "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Cor 10:5), and that includes emotional and intuitive thought as much as rational thought.
This article is a very brief excerpt from a book chapter on how repentance will affect your feelings.